“Yes. You don’t have to decide now. Think about it. Discuss it with your companion.”
Speaking of, he is incredibly curious how that’s been going. Last time he spoke to Jesse, the hunter-turned-vampire had been spitting mad at Hanzo, ready to put as many bullets in him as he could. Now, Hanzo is bringing him straight into one of his Hanamura safehouses, and they’re having an argument that sounds suspiciously like a lover’s quarrel. Genji interrupting when he had hadn’t been an accident.
“The invitation extends to him as well. My associates are eager to get in touch.”
With Jesse, that is. Hanzo, not so much. But Genji had insisted. Neither Ana or Jack had been convinced, but that Shimada stubborn streak had won out in the end. Hanzo would get caught in the middle of his fight regardless of his wishes. He should have a chance to do it on his own terms.
He is pointedly not looking at Jesse when he says it, and his expression is a tell-tale shade of neutral.
"...where will you go, now?" It is not a 'yes', just yet. He doesn't like the feeling of being corralled into anyone's game, played for either side. He will make no decisions just yet, and there is no telling if this is even truly the Genji he remembers. Perhaps the years have changed them irrevocably, if their respective curses did not.
Genji hadn’t expected an answer, and would have questioned any definitive yes or no Hanzo gave him. This not a night for weighty decisions. Not after the rollercoaster of emotions his brother has been put through. And if the look on his face is anything to go by, it’s not over for him—or his fledgling—yet.
“My work in Hanamura is done, for now. I’ve left the clan with more than one mess to wake up to.” He smirks flashing a hint of fang. “I’ll leave Japan to visit a friend in the morning. From there, I’ll go where my work takes me.”
He closes his eyes, and his human façade slips back into face. When they open again, they’re back to their familiar brown, and the smirk is gone.
“I… am sorry, that my own anger kept me from having this conversation with you long ago. But now that we’ve spoken once, I hope we can again. If you wish.”
If he wishes. That should be a clearer answer than it is. But there's too much not to consider before opening his arms so readily. It might be a trap. It might be genuine, as offers goes. And either way, there would be consequences.
"...very well."
And, at long last, the arrow slips back into its quiver, the bow collapsing back down once more into a more portable form. There would be no more battle this night, not for them.
"I will consider your words. I can promise no more than that."
With no weapons between them, Genji chances a step forward. Then another, until he is standing beside Hanzo facing the opposite direction. His hand rests on his brother’s shoulder briefly.
“Take care in the night, brother. Until we meet again.”
Then he continues walking, coming to the edge of the roof before jumping down and out of sight.
Alive but cursed. Something he dared not hope for, and would not have wished upon him. The conflicting emotions sweep over him in a wave, his chest tightening as he allows him to pass and disappear into the darkness.
Jesse is there, he can feel his presence and his eyes upon him, and suddenly why Jesse hadn't told him who his informant was becomes abundantly clear. He knew his brother was alive. Watched him mourn for him, and said nothing.
It is more understandable, now. But no less infuriating.
Jesse had watched it all in silence, standing guard in case they attracted unwanted attention—or in case one of the Shimada brothers got too close to making a fatal blow. He’s under no illusions though about his chances of surviving getting caught in their crossfire. He’d known Hanzo was good, but it had been another thing altogether to see him up against someone of a similar skillset.
After the fight had ended, Jesse had felt like he was watching something not meant for him to see. It was incredibly personal… but also, they were still on a rooftop in the middle of Hanamura. So he’d stood watch, something deep in his chest aching as the full details of that night had been laid out in full.
And then it’s over. Genji is gone in a blink, though Jesse doesn’t miss him slipping something into Hanzo’s pocket as he goes. He wonders, fleetingly, if he’ll have a chance to ask Hanzo about that before this all goes to pieces.
He straightens his posture, taking his weight off the windowsill and stepping back into the room.
Not moments, but minutes later, Hanzo's foot catches on the windowsill, and he slips back into the room as silent as a shadow. Dark eyes dart up in search of Jesse, wherever he happens to be.
If he hasn't slipped away to avoid Hanzo's wrath. Which would have been wise. He doesn't expected he's taken that course, however.
Hanzo is already aware that Jesse is many things, but wise isn’t among them. So he’s still there, waiting at the table with a cigarillo in hand, when the elder vampire returns. He’d been debating if he should light it or not, or if he should return to the window, or if she should be doing something else.
Seeing Hanzo come back so quickly is almost a relief, even if it brings with it the promise of another argument. The suspense is always the worst part. He looks up and straightens his posture, the cigarillo set aside.
“Hey. You alright?” A stupid question at this point, but it feels like it should be asked.
Trust that, in this volitile and fragile moment, that is what he asks. Hanzo doesn't reply immediately, setting the collapsed bow upon a nearby table, his thumb tracing the polished curve at the tip in a moment of quiet reflection.
Was he? No. Absolutely not. But he felt oddly composed, despite that.
"I thought I had done the worst possible thing," he replies after a pause, brow knitting faintly. "Something I could never be forgiven for. Instead, I have done something far worse."
Jesse frowns, considering that for no more than a few seconds before he stands. That is answer enough for the question he’d asked, and he feels a quick, potent rush of anger when he hears it—but not at Hanzo. Not that it’s immediately clear in the way he spits his next word out, sharp and quick.
“No.”
He shakes his head, chancing one step forward before stopping.
“You don’t get to sit here blamin’ yourself for that.”
Jesse nears, and that's all it takes for the vampire to tense, shoulders going rigid like he's braced for something. Steeling himself silently as he locks gazes with his fledgling.
He'd known all along. He'd come to find him where he traveled each year to mourn his brother, knowing he was alive. Knowing what had truly become of him. Of course, Genji doubtlessly told him not to reveal his survival, not knowing what Hanzo would do if he'd known but...
Jesse doesn’t move, his expression defiant as he stares back. He’ll put up with a lot in light of what had just happened. He’s ready for Hanzo to lash out at him, but he’s not in the mood to abide by his sire turning that blame and loathing back on himself. He’s already had years to do that, a lifetime.
"What it changes is that you cannot possibly pass judgement on things you do not understand!" he snaps, and there it is. That first burgeoning twitch of anger finally slipping through the facade of calm and numb.
"What happened that night changed everything. Every night since. I saw what I had done and I fled. And my weakness doomed us both."
If he had stayed, perhaps he would have seen the change in his brother. They might not have suffered alone as they had through the decades. So much would be different and...even Jesse might still draw breath as a mortal man. Doesn't he understand that?
Anger is good. Anger is better than hiding behind a wall and throwing up that icy exterior like a shield. And even if it’s the last thing he does tonight, Jesse is determined not to watch that shield come up again. Not without a fight.
“Your weakness?” He’s getting louder, voice ringing with incredulousness. “How were you supposed to know he’d been possessed? How were you supposed to have stopped anything that happened? I wasn’t even there, and I know that what whatever your clan made you believe about having to be perfect is all bullshit. And they would’ve kept you on a leash with it, but you had the strength to get the hell out.”
"Ignorance is no excuse. Had I stayed and seen to him then..."
Perhaps he'd have known that they never laid a body to rest. Perhaps they might have had another chance. Or perhaps they might have torn each other to pieces then and there, and what if that was best? Rather than the cursed existence they live now, changed and marked by all that's happened to them.
Days ago, he'd thought he'd found some measure of peace and happiness, but just like that? Everything is uncertain again. And that's not even addressing the fact that Jesse knew, he'd known all along and he knows why he didn't say anything, but the spiteful fury still rises like bile in the back of his throat.
“Yeah, well you know what? Nobody’s perfect. And anyway, ever heard about hindsight bein’ 20/20?”
There were so many things that could have gone wrong, even if Hanzo had stayed—but going down the list would probably do little to soothe the perfectionist in him. Jesse wonders if it’s even worth mentioning that the apparent synergistic nature of Genji and his demon actually doesn’t seem entirely bad. It could have been a deal like Jesse’s, which would have left Genji long since dead without intervention. While not ideal, it’s not the worst-case possession scenario.
“It’s a good thing anyway, isn’t it? You’re both alive, in a… in a sense.”
Even if Hanzo hadn’t known it. Jesse had no hand in the years prior of course, but this past one… that guilt has been a thorn in his heel, pricking a little deeper with every step he took away from hating Hanzo. But guilty as he feels, he wouldn’t do any different if he could go back.
“You got a chance to talk to him again. Make some kind of amends. It’s somethin’.”
Amends? That seems so petty, in the scope of things. Genji's forgiveness did not erase the debt, it only meant the other had grown past what had happened. He'd found peace with it. It wasn't the same, and it wasn't enough. It might never be, in his own mind. No one could hold him more accountable for what happened or bear a deeper grudge than Hanzo himself did.
Which meant there was little point in belaboring the fact now. The vampire's expression tightened for a moment, one hand lifting to rub against the bridge of his nose briefly in frustration.
"...you spoke to him. He was the one who told you to find me, that night." It's not a question, but there is one lingering behind the words unspoken.
What had prompted his brother to send the hunter his way? Had he known what Hanzo intended with his fledgling, at the time?
“Yeah. He told me you’d be there, that I should… go talk.”
Despite the heavy subject matter, that gets a quick smile out of him that vanishes with a shake of his head. Talking had been near the bottom of a long list of things he wanted to do to Hanzo back then, most all of them violent.
“Don’t know how he knew about me, other than he must’ve been keepin’ tabs on you somehow.” Jesse had wondered too why Genji had taken the time to follow him instead of Hanzo. Maybe he had wanted to spare him some of the regret that had scarred his brother in that first bout of bloodlust. Maybe it was something else. They hadn’t spoken in enough detail for Jesse to really find out.
“He didn’t want you to know he was alive. Asked me not to tell you, and I knew it wasn’t my place.” He chances another small step closer, seeing how near Hanzo will allow him to come. “I didn’t like havin’ to lie to you.”
This time he doesn't back away or try to stop him, though his shoulder do go stiff, and some of that earlier chill returns to his voice.
"I know why you did. You do not need to explain yourself."
It wasn't as if it would help that particularly stubborn knot of resentment heal any faster. He'd feel angry about it for some time, and that was his right. The same as Jesse had his right to feel...whatever he felt towards Hanzo still for changing him into a monster.
Understanding does not equate to forgiveness, and forgiveness does not equate to redemption. This whole situation has made that fact abundantly clear.
Well, that isn’t the worst reaction. Neither is it an invitation of any sort. He debates whether to continue, hesitating on that awkward line between action and inaction. Ultimately, he nods stiffly once and takes a half a step back.
“Just thought it should be said.”
He can’t ask for forgiveness, knowing the weight of what he’d done. Doesn’t matter if he feels justified for it or not. He’s made plenty of beds like this in the past, borne of deception; and every time, he’s had to learn to lie in them. This is no different, excepting that he feels worse about this than any of the lies that had come before.
“Should I go?”
What remains, then, are the practical details. Where he should spend the day, if Hanzo turns him out. The practicalities of… however this goes from here.
There was a time when he would have latched onto that opportunity to give himself space. Retreating into the silent echo chamber of his own mind, until he'd fortified some sort of rationale for all of this. Most of it would revolve around old truisms that no longer held up quite as well as they used to, notions of how much easier all of this was when he was alone.
No one here to argue against the guilt he so readily aimed at himself over past transgressions. No one to push his boundaries. No one to tell him how ridiculous he was being.
He is angry, yes. But the thought of Jesse retreating into the city somewhere and leaving him alone with all of this is decidedly not what he wants. He scowls at the floor for a moment, arms wrapping tightly across his chest.
"...better you remain here. If Genji found us, it's possible others may have tracked our movements, already. We can't risk another incident, just yet."
It's sound logic. It's also nowhere near the main reason he doesn't want Jesse to go.
It is sound logic, and an entirely different answer than Jesse had expected. He tries and fails to completely keep the surprise entirely off his face. But it’s fine with him—it’s not like he would have gone far anyway. He’s not about to leave Hanzo entirely on his own, emotionally compromised in the middle of Shimada territory. But he’d honor the need for distance, if that’s what he wanted.
Though it seems now that’s not what Hanzo wants, which begs the question of what he does want. More, more pertinently, what he needs. It’s unfortunately not a question Jesse feels any better equipped to answer.
“Alright then.” He takes off his hat and turns back to the table, setting it down next to his unlit cigar. If only a good, stiff drink would still work on them. He’d have already cracked open something extremely alcoholic for them both.
“I’ll stay, but… best you get out whatever you have to get out now. You got somethin’ you want to say, or ask about your brother—go on ahead. Got no reason to keep it to myself anymore.”
Something he wants to say? That's debatable. It's all there, brimming under the surface, things he would normally shove down and lock up tight. Not so easily done, now.
There's a moment's pause as he takes measure of the room and the space between them. Centering himself. His fingers tighten and lax briefly, lips parting briefly then shutting again.
"I was alone. For decades. I fled the ones who made me what I am, and I refused companionship. Human or vampire. They schemed, and made their plans, and fought one another. But I was content to remain outside of it all."
His eyes flit towards the windowsill, where the feather had rested.
"I had already proven what sort of evil I could visit on the world, if I wished it. There was no point in pursuing it further." There's a pause, before his gaze finds his fledgling's once more. "But now it seems I was meant to be a pawn in this game. Regardless of the side."
It’s not lost on Jesse that Hanzo is opening up much more willingly now than he ever had before. Could be the time they’ve spent together, or his closer proximity with humanity as of late, or just the impact of the situation they’re currently facing. Either way, he had half expected Hanzo to retreat back into silence, and he’s grateful not to see it happen again.
He turns and leans his weight back against the table, arms crossed over his chest and a small, confused frown forming on his face.
“’Pawn’ is about the last word I’d use to describe you. What game do you mean?”
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Speaking of, he is incredibly curious how that’s been going. Last time he spoke to Jesse, the hunter-turned-vampire had been spitting mad at Hanzo, ready to put as many bullets in him as he could. Now, Hanzo is bringing him straight into one of his Hanamura safehouses, and they’re having an argument that sounds suspiciously like a lover’s quarrel. Genji interrupting when he had hadn’t been an accident.
“The invitation extends to him as well. My associates are eager to get in touch.”
With Jesse, that is. Hanzo, not so much. But Genji had insisted. Neither Ana or Jack had been convinced, but that Shimada stubborn streak had won out in the end. Hanzo would get caught in the middle of his fight regardless of his wishes. He should have a chance to do it on his own terms.
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He is pointedly not looking at Jesse when he says it, and his expression is a tell-tale shade of neutral.
"...where will you go, now?" It is not a 'yes', just yet. He doesn't like the feeling of being corralled into anyone's game, played for either side. He will make no decisions just yet, and there is no telling if this is even truly the Genji he remembers. Perhaps the years have changed them irrevocably, if their respective curses did not.
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“My work in Hanamura is done, for now. I’ve left the clan with more than one mess to wake up to.” He smirks flashing a hint of fang. “I’ll leave Japan to visit a friend in the morning. From there, I’ll go where my work takes me.”
He closes his eyes, and his human façade slips back into face. When they open again, they’re back to their familiar brown, and the smirk is gone.
“I… am sorry, that my own anger kept me from having this conversation with you long ago. But now that we’ve spoken once, I hope we can again. If you wish.”
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"...very well."
And, at long last, the arrow slips back into its quiver, the bow collapsing back down once more into a more portable form. There would be no more battle this night, not for them.
"I will consider your words. I can promise no more than that."
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With no weapons between them, Genji chances a step forward. Then another, until he is standing beside Hanzo facing the opposite direction. His hand rests on his brother’s shoulder briefly.
“Take care in the night, brother. Until we meet again.”
Then he continues walking, coming to the edge of the roof before jumping down and out of sight.
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Jesse is there, he can feel his presence and his eyes upon him, and suddenly why Jesse hadn't told him who his informant was becomes abundantly clear. He knew his brother was alive. Watched him mourn for him, and said nothing.
It is more understandable, now. But no less infuriating.
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After the fight had ended, Jesse had felt like he was watching something not meant for him to see. It was incredibly personal… but also, they were still on a rooftop in the middle of Hanamura. So he’d stood watch, something deep in his chest aching as the full details of that night had been laid out in full.
And then it’s over. Genji is gone in a blink, though Jesse doesn’t miss him slipping something into Hanzo’s pocket as he goes. He wonders, fleetingly, if he’ll have a chance to ask Hanzo about that before this all goes to pieces.
He straightens his posture, taking his weight off the windowsill and stepping back into the room.
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If he hasn't slipped away to avoid Hanzo's wrath. Which would have been wise. He doesn't expected he's taken that course, however.
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Seeing Hanzo come back so quickly is almost a relief, even if it brings with it the promise of another argument. The suspense is always the worst part. He looks up and straightens his posture, the cigarillo set aside.
“Hey. You alright?” A stupid question at this point, but it feels like it should be asked.
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Was he? No. Absolutely not. But he felt oddly composed, despite that.
"I thought I had done the worst possible thing," he replies after a pause, brow knitting faintly. "Something I could never be forgiven for. Instead, I have done something far worse."
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“No.”
He shakes his head, chancing one step forward before stopping.
“You don’t get to sit here blamin’ yourself for that.”
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Jesse nears, and that's all it takes for the vampire to tense, shoulders going rigid like he's braced for something. Steeling himself silently as he locks gazes with his fledgling.
He'd known all along. He'd come to find him where he traveled each year to mourn his brother, knowing he was alive. Knowing what had truly become of him. Of course, Genji doubtlessly told him not to reveal his survival, not knowing what Hanzo would do if he'd known but...
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“I wasn’t. What’s that change?”
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"What happened that night changed everything. Every night since. I saw what I had done and I fled. And my weakness doomed us both."
If he had stayed, perhaps he would have seen the change in his brother. They might not have suffered alone as they had through the decades. So much would be different and...even Jesse might still draw breath as a mortal man. Doesn't he understand that?
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“Your weakness?” He’s getting louder, voice ringing with incredulousness. “How were you supposed to know he’d been possessed? How were you supposed to have stopped anything that happened? I wasn’t even there, and I know that what whatever your clan made you believe about having to be perfect is all bullshit. And they would’ve kept you on a leash with it, but you had the strength to get the hell out.”
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Perhaps he'd have known that they never laid a body to rest. Perhaps they might have had another chance. Or perhaps they might have torn each other to pieces then and there, and what if that was best? Rather than the cursed existence they live now, changed and marked by all that's happened to them.
Days ago, he'd thought he'd found some measure of peace and happiness, but just like that? Everything is uncertain again. And that's not even addressing the fact that Jesse knew, he'd known all along and he knows why he didn't say anything, but the spiteful fury still rises like bile in the back of his throat.
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There were so many things that could have gone wrong, even if Hanzo had stayed—but going down the list would probably do little to soothe the perfectionist in him. Jesse wonders if it’s even worth mentioning that the apparent synergistic nature of Genji and his demon actually doesn’t seem entirely bad. It could have been a deal like Jesse’s, which would have left Genji long since dead without intervention. While not ideal, it’s not the worst-case possession scenario.
“It’s a good thing anyway, isn’t it? You’re both alive, in a… in a sense.”
Even if Hanzo hadn’t known it. Jesse had no hand in the years prior of course, but this past one… that guilt has been a thorn in his heel, pricking a little deeper with every step he took away from hating Hanzo. But guilty as he feels, he wouldn’t do any different if he could go back.
“You got a chance to talk to him again. Make some kind of amends. It’s somethin’.”
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Which meant there was little point in belaboring the fact now. The vampire's expression tightened for a moment, one hand lifting to rub against the bridge of his nose briefly in frustration.
"...you spoke to him. He was the one who told you to find me, that night." It's not a question, but there is one lingering behind the words unspoken.
What had prompted his brother to send the hunter his way? Had he known what Hanzo intended with his fledgling, at the time?
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Despite the heavy subject matter, that gets a quick smile out of him that vanishes with a shake of his head. Talking had been near the bottom of a long list of things he wanted to do to Hanzo back then, most all of them violent.
“Don’t know how he knew about me, other than he must’ve been keepin’ tabs on you somehow.” Jesse had wondered too why Genji had taken the time to follow him instead of Hanzo. Maybe he had wanted to spare him some of the regret that had scarred his brother in that first bout of bloodlust. Maybe it was something else. They hadn’t spoken in enough detail for Jesse to really find out.
“He didn’t want you to know he was alive. Asked me not to tell you, and I knew it wasn’t my place.” He chances another small step closer, seeing how near Hanzo will allow him to come. “I didn’t like havin’ to lie to you.”
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"I know why you did. You do not need to explain yourself."
It wasn't as if it would help that particularly stubborn knot of resentment heal any faster. He'd feel angry about it for some time, and that was his right. The same as Jesse had his right to feel...whatever he felt towards Hanzo still for changing him into a monster.
Understanding does not equate to forgiveness, and forgiveness does not equate to redemption. This whole situation has made that fact abundantly clear.
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“Just thought it should be said.”
He can’t ask for forgiveness, knowing the weight of what he’d done. Doesn’t matter if he feels justified for it or not. He’s made plenty of beds like this in the past, borne of deception; and every time, he’s had to learn to lie in them. This is no different, excepting that he feels worse about this than any of the lies that had come before.
“Should I go?”
What remains, then, are the practical details. Where he should spend the day, if Hanzo turns him out. The practicalities of… however this goes from here.
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No one here to argue against the guilt he so readily aimed at himself over past transgressions. No one to push his boundaries. No one to tell him how ridiculous he was being.
He is angry, yes. But the thought of Jesse retreating into the city somewhere and leaving him alone with all of this is decidedly not what he wants. He scowls at the floor for a moment, arms wrapping tightly across his chest.
"...better you remain here. If Genji found us, it's possible others may have tracked our movements, already. We can't risk another incident, just yet."
It's sound logic. It's also nowhere near the main reason he doesn't want Jesse to go.
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Though it seems now that’s not what Hanzo wants, which begs the question of what he does want. More, more pertinently, what he needs. It’s unfortunately not a question Jesse feels any better equipped to answer.
“Alright then.” He takes off his hat and turns back to the table, setting it down next to his unlit cigar. If only a good, stiff drink would still work on them. He’d have already cracked open something extremely alcoholic for them both.
“I’ll stay, but… best you get out whatever you have to get out now. You got somethin’ you want to say, or ask about your brother—go on ahead. Got no reason to keep it to myself anymore.”
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There's a moment's pause as he takes measure of the room and the space between them. Centering himself. His fingers tighten and lax briefly, lips parting briefly then shutting again.
"I was alone. For decades. I fled the ones who made me what I am, and I refused companionship. Human or vampire. They schemed, and made their plans, and fought one another. But I was content to remain outside of it all."
His eyes flit towards the windowsill, where the feather had rested.
"I had already proven what sort of evil I could visit on the world, if I wished it. There was no point in pursuing it further." There's a pause, before his gaze finds his fledgling's once more. "But now it seems I was meant to be a pawn in this game. Regardless of the side."
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He turns and leans his weight back against the table, arms crossed over his chest and a small, confused frown forming on his face.
“’Pawn’ is about the last word I’d use to describe you. What game do you mean?”
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I had NOT realized I had gone so long without a reply!! I still love this thread so here we go \o/
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just let me know if I should change anything!
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guess who just bought themselves a paid account to get demon icons
ahahahah beautiful
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