almightythirst | Open Post

This time he doesn't back away or try to stop him, though his shoulder do go stiff, and some of that earlier chill returns to his voice.

"I know why you did. You do not need to explain yourself."

It wasn't as if it would help that particularly stubborn knot of resentment heal any faster. He'd feel angry about it for some time, and that was his right. The same as Jesse had his right to feel...whatever he felt towards Hanzo still for changing him into a monster.

Understanding does not equate to forgiveness, and forgiveness does not equate to redemption. This whole situation has made that fact abundantly clear.

Well, that isn’t the worst reaction. Neither is it an invitation of any sort. He debates whether to continue, hesitating on that awkward line between action and inaction. Ultimately, he nods stiffly once and takes a half a step back.

“Just thought it should be said.”

He can’t ask for forgiveness, knowing the weight of what he’d done. Doesn’t matter if he feels justified for it or not. He’s made plenty of beds like this in the past, borne of deception; and every time, he’s had to learn to lie in them. This is no different, excepting that he feels worse about this than any of the lies that had come before.

“Should I go?”

What remains, then, are the practical details. Where he should spend the day, if Hanzo turns him out. The practicalities of… however this goes from here.

There was a time when he would have latched onto that opportunity to give himself space. Retreating into the silent echo chamber of his own mind, until he'd fortified some sort of rationale for all of this. Most of it would revolve around old truisms that no longer held up quite as well as they used to, notions of how much easier all of this was when he was alone.

No one here to argue against the guilt he so readily aimed at himself over past transgressions. No one to push his boundaries. No one to tell him how ridiculous he was being.

He is angry, yes. But the thought of Jesse retreating into the city somewhere and leaving him alone with all of this is decidedly not what he wants. He scowls at the floor for a moment, arms wrapping tightly across his chest.

"...better you remain here. If Genji found us, it's possible others may have tracked our movements, already. We can't risk another incident, just yet."

It's sound logic. It's also nowhere near the main reason he doesn't want Jesse to go.

It is sound logic, and an entirely different answer than Jesse had expected. He tries and fails to completely keep the surprise entirely off his face. But it’s fine with him—it’s not like he would have gone far anyway. He’s not about to leave Hanzo entirely on his own, emotionally compromised in the middle of Shimada territory. But he’d honor the need for distance, if that’s what he wanted.

Though it seems now that’s not what Hanzo wants, which begs the question of what he does want. More, more pertinently, what he needs. It’s unfortunately not a question Jesse feels any better equipped to answer.

“Alright then.” He takes off his hat and turns back to the table, setting it down next to his unlit cigar. If only a good, stiff drink would still work on them. He’d have already cracked open something extremely alcoholic for them both.

“I’ll stay, but… best you get out whatever you have to get out now. You got somethin’ you want to say, or ask about your brother—go on ahead. Got no reason to keep it to myself anymore.”

Something he wants to say? That's debatable. It's all there, brimming under the surface, things he would normally shove down and lock up tight. Not so easily done, now.

There's a moment's pause as he takes measure of the room and the space between them. Centering himself. His fingers tighten and lax briefly, lips parting briefly then shutting again.

"I was alone. For decades. I fled the ones who made me what I am, and I refused companionship. Human or vampire. They schemed, and made their plans, and fought one another. But I was content to remain outside of it all."

His eyes flit towards the windowsill, where the feather had rested.

"I had already proven what sort of evil I could visit on the world, if I wished it. There was no point in pursuing it further." There's a pause, before his gaze finds his fledgling's once more. "But now it seems I was meant to be a pawn in this game. Regardless of the side."

It’s not lost on Jesse that Hanzo is opening up much more willingly now than he ever had before. Could be the time they’ve spent together, or his closer proximity with humanity as of late, or just the impact of the situation they’re currently facing. Either way, he had half expected Hanzo to retreat back into silence, and he’s grateful not to see it happen again.

He turns and leans his weight back against the table, arms crossed over his chest and a small, confused frown forming on his face.

“’Pawn’ is about the last word I’d use to describe you. What game do you mean?”

"These forces have new names now, new faces. But it is an old game."

It had not been Talon back then. That is a new veneer, but there are strings that lead back into the darkness, generations back, blood-soaked and ancient. The struggles Jesse faces now, those that molded the Reaper he now hunts, they belong to something larger in scope than they know.

Genji might understand. Jesse is too young to have seen the patterns, to hear the news that ripples across the world over and over. Power struggles, betrayal, the facade of peace, then a catalyst to a new war. Again and again.

"There is a hand in this that has existed long before either of us were born." He doesn't so much as blink. "The reason I was made a vampire in the first place."

There’s a bit of hubris that goes into becoming a hunter in the first place, and a lot more in staying one over time. It’s a pretty essential trait when you take a human and face them off against creatures of superior strength, supernatural abilities, and a longevity that dwarfs that of any mortal. That hubris keeps them going—but it can also be blinding. There’s a shortsightedness in thinking that, from your place in the stream of time, you know all of what’s important to know.

That’s quite clear to Jesse to some extent now. Long as he’s been hunting, he hadn’t really given a lot of thought to there being organized groups on the other side they didn’t already know about. Ones that went back so far, humans left alive today would have little to no knowledge of them.

“What? I thought-” He blinks and shakes his head, the polar opposite of Hanzo’s stillness. These human habits of his only come just slightly more delayed than before, not quite taking conscious thought to do, but also not coming quite so naturally as they used to. “You’re sayin’ there was more to it than them just makin’ a blind power grab?”

Which, now that he thinks about it, had been something he’d assumed himself without any real information one way or the other. How many other things had he just assumed about Hanzo the same way? Or about this aspect of the world in general? It’s an unsettling feeling.

It is perhaps not entirely his fault for thinking this way. A choice he's made, certainly, but the hunters prefer such mindsets. Easier to mold to their way of thinking, one that does not allow for any critical thought on why things are done, only that they are. Efficiently. Without mercy.

Not so different from training with the clan, in truth. Duty came before any need to question. Even now, Jesse's duty from life still drives him, and it is linked with Hanzo's now in a way that makes their meeting in the first place almost seemed destined. If one believed in such things.

"Of course." His chin lifts. "And if my brother aligned himself with your cause, after what happened, it was not by accident or chance."

Jesse’s eyes narrow a fraction. Your cause. A line in the sand, even if it’s hardly unfair to point out that it’s there. He has still been clinging to the duty he’s always known in life, even when it doesn’t fit into this new afterlife of his. Or with Hanzo’s. Still, something about the way it’s said rubs him the wrong way.

In reality, it's likely because it's just another reminder of the two paths they'd started out on. How different they are, and how unlikely it is that they would ever stay alongside one another for long.

“What was it then? You’re going to have to make it real clear to me where you’re goin’ with this.”

Because otherwise, a fella might be inclined to assume, and he doesn’t like where his assumptions are taking him.

"It was in defiance of the elders. Siding with who they thought to be their enemy." It would explain how he came into contact with Jesse, how he knew of him and the other hunters, and yet survived. If he had proven just how divorced he was from the clan and its interests, he could have easily secured a place for himself with this group.

Hanzo pauses, seeing that flicker of distaste cross Jesse's face with the association. Curious. He's not sure why the idea irks him so, but he leaves it lie for now.

As much as Jesse thinks he understands about what happened, he needs to know so much more.

"When my father was still head of the clan, something like Talon existed. A precursor of sorts. They extended an offer to my father to join them and support their interests, and in turn be given power beyond imagining. I can only assume being turned would be part of the bargain. He refused them."

He'd been so proud. So beyond the fear of death, so certain his legacy would endure regardless and his sons would keep the clan in check, despite their youth and inexperience. And what came next would therefore surprise no one.

"When he died, the elders sought to revisit that offer. And, as the heir to the clan..."

“They made the choice for you.”

Putting all the rest of it aside—Genji’s connection to hunters, what that could mean—this is where the heart of it is. What Hanzo’s clan had sought to do, and who gave them the ability to make it happen. Jesse rakes a hand back through his hair and turns his head, frowning out the window. His annoyance has shifted to more stable ground now, one where he clearly knows who is on what side. Talon and the Shimada clan. Their goals entangled, twisted together with the purpose of using Hanzo as their own instrument of power.

“So they’re the ones who started it. And they’re still tryin’ to get you to sign up. That takes a lot of nerve.”

Nerve, yes. Or a strong desire to possess the dragons. Hanzo knows what he'd lay his bets against.

"And now, it appears no matter what choice is made, we will in fact be choosing a side in doing so." After a moment's pause he reaches for the card Genji had offered him, pulling it quietly into view before extending it toward Jesse.

"The offer was made to you, as well. Do with it as you will."

One might assume that Reaper, being in league with Talon, would decide things for him rather quickly. But Jesse has surprised him before now. He may not want any part of this, for his own reasons, regardless of where the call comes from.

Choose a side, and be at the whims of another organization with its own goals. Or don’t choose, and be content with the fact that you have no cards on the table in a high-stakes game. Jesse takes the card and frowns down at it, taking in the font, the symbol…

The symbol.

He’s seen it before. It’s true that most hunters work alone, or in small groups, but… there had been one attempt at something bigger, at least in recent enough memory for Jesse to know about it. And it had fallen apart. Spectacularly. Which is exactly why he shouldn’t be looking at its logo printed on a piece of cardstock.

“… Shit.”

The curse is quiet but forceful. It explains why they’d even given him a second thought, why Genji had mentioned him at all.

“They’re gettin’ the gang back together.”

This is said with disbelief, as he hadn’t known there was any gang left to gather. But if Ana and Jack are still around, then who else? And what are they doing extending a hand to someone like Hanzo, who goes against everything an organization of hunters could stand for? Or him, for that matter?

"'The gang'?"

It means little to him. Another group, like so many, vying for power and purchase. They are against Talon, certainly, but there's little to recommend them beyond that and Genji's say-so.

That...is still strange to consider. His brother vouches for them. His brother is alive and--

Focus.

Instead he focuses on the way Jesse's expression changes, the disbelief that flickers there. Clearly, there is a story here to be told.

“You remember the hunters we ran into a few months ago, right? Two old-timers. Knocked me out cold.”

And he’d come-to with Hanzo hovering over him and the smell of ozone on his clothes. He’d never quite managed to figure out the details of how that had gone. What had always seemed to matter the most was that Hanzo had taken the time to rescue him at all, and the fleeting bit of worry he’d thought he’d seen on the other man’s face.

“I think they’re in on this. If they’re not, they’ll be pissed to know somebody is diggin’ up old graves. This group went up in flames years ago.”

He stares down at the card a moment longer, memorizing its contents before offering it back. It had been given to him after all. It’s his to keep.

Hanzo made a quietly thoughtful noise, the card whisked back and disappearing into a pocket once more. "Why would a group of hunters work with a demon, much less a pair of vampires?"

It makes little sense, unless they've had a severe change of heart. So the choice is between a group that would welcome them with open arms, and readily manipulate them to serve its own ends...

Or a group likely to be hostile and mistrustful, just as ready to make use of them as Talon would.

What a choice to make.

“Don’t have a clue to be honest. I was walkin’ on thin ice with my situation, back when we ran in the same circles.” His situation, AKA technically being possessed. “If it weren’t for Gabe, I don’t think they would’ve ever put up with me.”

But they had, and then they’d done more than that. That group of idealistic hunters—and the less idealistic, but no less entangled sub-group Jesse had been a part off—they’d become his family. Knowing that some semblance of it is coming back together, somewhere, pulls at something bittersweet in his chest. It’s no reason to go running back though. Not without knowing more.

And knowing more could be just a phone call away, if he were willing.

“But they were good people. Granted, that was a long time ago. And they were in the business of killin’ things like you… like us.” He shakes his head as if to clear it. Stupid thing to forget. He’s not one of them anymore, and he never will be again.

“… Hell if I know what to do now. What’re you thinkin’?”

"I have not yet decided."

There's been a great deal to taken in this evening. Many revelations upended and heaped upon them as they struggled to make sense of it all. Finding the correct path forward would take time. Consideration and thought. Clearing his mind of the residual anger and frustration.

This group might be what they need for the time being, if nothing else. But it's also asking to be put in close proximity to people he does not trust, and who would not trust him no matter who vouched for him.

Yet the possibility is there. Reconnection with the brother he'd long thought dead. And Jesse would be reunited with old comrades. It seems almost too good to be true, doesn't it?

It does seem too good to be true. All of it, from them both finding something they'd thought lost, to them going into it together, to this new group's intentions being genuinely good.

But if Jesse has learned anything over the years, it's that good things don't come free. There's always a catch. Only question is if it's a compromise or price worth paying.

"Yeah, well... it's a lot. This whole night has been a lot. We can take some time and think on it."

And they do have the time now, their only mission here in Hanamura having ended before it had really even begun.

Yes. The mission is over, and not in any way he could have anticipated.

He should be grateful, no? This is far better than a number of potential outcomes. Not only does Genji still live, he has forgiven him. He has extended a hand to him, to come fight at his side as they were always meant to do. As Father would have wanted...

Whatever the group's goals might be almost seem secondary, in light of that.

What if he decides not to? Jesse may still decide to reunite with his old comrades and if that happens? Well. It won't have been unforeseen. He'd known something like that could happen along the way, at any point. But so soon...

For a moment, he stares at Jesse, as if searching for the potential answer there in his face. Then, tentatively, he attempts to reach across that bond that's been weaving itself, stronger and tighter, every time they've shared blood.

What does he truly feel about all this?

Throughout his life, Jesse has gotten good at compartmentalizing. His ability to manage the way his emotions manifest themselves is one reason he’s so good at poker (aside from the cheating, which is the other major factor). It’s not a skill he always uses, but one he takes advantage of more than many might think.

So while he turns his attention back to the window, expression more or less neutral aside from the slight frown, his exterior gives away not much at all. But as Hanzo reaches out, he’ll find no mental barrier in his way. No walls to keep him out.

Neither will he find any sort of order to the chaos.

Unease. Uncertainty. Confusion. Hope? Nostalgia. Loss. Worry. Uncertainty. Longing.

they wouldn’t want me back why would they want me there they must be desperate otherwise it’s a trap but what if I'd do more harm than good there they gotta be desperate

what do they want from me from Genji from Hanzo

Hanzo Hanzo Hanzo

Guilt. Guilt. Longing. Uncertainty. Fear. Fear.

not saying anything he’s leaving but you knew that you knew it was coming you did what you had to but is he even safe should've done it different what's he thinking not saying anything say something

but what

is that

Jesse cocks his head to the side, giving his head a quick shake before sending a quizzical glance Hanzo’s way.

“You say somethin’ just now?”

It's chaos. Roiling emotions tumbling about and chasing themselves in circles. Hanzo was many things but empathetic could not often be counted as one of them, and to so starkly feel what it was that Jesse felt...

It was on some level reassuring. Many of those feelings, thoughts, fears, they had an echo familiar to him. If nothing else, Jesse feels as he does about much of this.

You did what you had to.

Hanzo's gaze remains steady as the other's attention falls back to him. Say something? What would he even say. Everything he's ever done or said has had a purpose to it and now he questions what that purpose even is. He's sought redemption, for the murder of his brother, now very much alive and having forgiven him. He's broken all bonds and wandered alone in the world for so long, seeking to avoid this growing conflict and all sides involved, only to find himself trapped securely in the web they've woven.

And he's not alone. Very much not alone.

Everything he's known as constant is slipping away like sand under his feet. Is it any wonder, furious as he was with Jesse, that he didn't want him gone from him? Weak as it would be to say the true reason out loud, he's become that constant to him. Even now, the only thing he knows with absolute certainty is--

"No." Hanzo swallows tensely. "Nothing."

--how absolutely fucked both of them are, at this point. At least together, they stood a chance of surviving this, whatever it was that was closing in around them.

For a moment, Jesse could’ve sworn he’d heard Hanzo’s voice. Quiet, like a whisper in his ear. Or in his head. It’s a feeling as familiar as is it is unsettling. His eyes linger on Hanzo’s—searching, though he couldn’t say exactly what he’s looking for. Might be there are too many things he’s hoping to find.

“… Guess the night must be catchin’ up to me.”

He resists the urge to turn, or look away again, or otherwise avoid looking at Hanzo head-on. It’s not often he gets to feeling cowardly, and he finds he doesn’t like it anymore than he ever has. Funny how he could stare down the barrel of a gun easily, but not face this without the urge to deflect.

“We should probably sleep on all this. But if you want to take a look, I’ve got records. Back from when that hunter outfit was active. Been scrapin’ together scraps over the years. Might give you a better idea of what they’re up to now, if you want to think more on that offer. Won’t tell you much about what the situation is these days, but. It’s a start.”

Rambling. He’s rambling.

“I’ll just set the laptop up. Look if you want.”

Hanzo hums, breaking his gaze and briefly rubbing the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Of course."

It's probably too late, too much, on top of everything else. Attempting to concentrate is going to be taxing, to say the least. But they have to focus on the steps needed in order to survive.

Everything after that? Well...that's the question. Defining one's reason for existence doesn't happen overnight.

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I had NOT realized I had gone so long without a reply!! I still love this thread so here we go \o/

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