almightythirst | Deerington Inbox

Shit. He's a good kid. You know how this place gets into people's heads.

[ He's all suited up himself, armed and ready, even though he has no idea where Reaper would be at this point. He sets out towards town anyway for lack of a better direction. ]

Stop and think for a second. This isn't your fault, we don't know that she's not coming back yet, and do you really want to deal with an angry as hell Moira because you couldn't keep your finger off the trigger?

You're not the only one who's gonna be hurting right now. Don't make this worse.

And she's not the only one who cares about you. People here do. Hell if I know why.

Just tell me where you are before you make a stupid decision.

[Like McCree, he was already on the move, already got his sights on where he had to be and how he was going to track that boy down. The boy who he had saved on as many occasions. The boy who acted and looked like he had when Moira and him had met.

Like he had put the knife in her heart personally.]

We don't know she is coming back either. If she doesn't come back, she can't be angry. If she does, I've weathered her anger before. No one cares about me. Not like Moira. And I'm going to let this town see that I've been holding back for months.

You were always the one that talked about keeping your emotions in check on missions. Do I have to be the one giving the lecture this time? You know I don’t do good pep talks.

[ All the while, he’s thinking: where would Reaper go for revenge? Straight to Lance’s home would be a good guess, but Jesse unfortunately has no idea where that is. If he’s just going to wander around town until he finds Lance, there’ll be no way to pin Reaper down to one place without some sort of clue. Jesse almost growls with frustration as he picks up his pace. ]

It hurts. I know. But don’t throw away whatever good you’ve managed for yourself until you know you have a reason to.

Then don't bother with pep. This mission is about revenge.

[This apparently wasn't the first time that Lance had gone rogue and began a sort of murder spree. Hadn't the boy been a dragon at some point? While he was going to enjoy releasing his pain on that boy, it might be more of a mercy killing by that point.]

I shouldn't have been holding back. This place just takes advantages of those personal weaknesses.

[ Holding back? Jesse is ready to call bullshit on that one, but… come to think of it, Reaper hasn’t exactly been going on killing sprees, has he? For all his bluster and threats, his kill count is markedly lower here than it had been back home.

Must have had to do with the side-effects of killing. What else would explain it? Jesse shakes off the questions slowly rising up and quickens his step. ]

Blame Deerington then. Burn it all down. But good luck doing that if you make a stupid choice now and don’t come back from it.

[ Like if he dies again, and comes back not remembering who he even is. Jesse grits his teeth and stops dead in his tracks, dread and adrenaline coursing through him and tempting him to just throw his Fluid. There’s too much to say that he can’t, and too much to do that he can’t either. And all the while, he can’t help but imagine a glimpse of Reyes that is now spiraling further and further out of reach. ]

I do blame Deerington, and I will burn it. It and everyone in it. What more do I have to lose?

[He knows that McCree has no chance of tracking him down, and he doesn't think anything more than a promise is required at this point. He's chosen his path.]

Type it. If she doesn't come back, you'll kill me.

[ Jesse stares down at the message, breathing hard. He wants this conversation to be over. He wants Moira to be back. He wants Reaper to go back to being the uncomplicated villain he’d once been. He wants to see Reaper again like he had that night, without his mask and more human and complicated than ever. ]

I never would do what you wanted me to when you wanted me to.

[ If he becomes that much of a threat to the town, then... Jesse will consider it.

But not until then. Not while Reaper is in the throes of grief like this. ]

[The answer doesn't surprise him. There are few things with McCree that actually do these days, and he's come to peace with that. Always expect McCree will take the hard road and resist doing what he's told if it comes with deadly choices.]

You never were a good student. Times haven't changed with that. Leave me alone then. I'll find my own way out if I need to.

[And he will. Death is one thing Reaper doesn't have to try hard to find in this place.]

[ Jesse has to swallow back a rising indignation at that declaration. Reaper will find his own way, will leave again on his own terms and damn whoever else is left to sift through the rubble. He's being impulsive, emotional...

Except Jesse knows he doesn't get to think that way, because he'd been the one to leave before the Fall. Everything that had happened since the day he left Blackwatch is, in part, on his shoulders. Including not standing by Reyes the last time his impulses and emotions had caused him his own personal chaos.

Jesse might mourn something he helped kill, but he doesn't deserve to feel angry about what the dead does after. Especially now, when Reaper is obviously in so much pain himself. He'd never admit it, but Jesse knows. Maybe that's what makes this all the more difficult. ]

You always were impossible to reason with once you had your mind set.

That certainly won't change. Stay home. Don't put me in a position to hurt you.

[At this point, he might have it in him to stop himself. With Moira dead, now Angela gone, he couldn't risk losing McCree. The little asshole was all he had left.]

Thought hurting me was on your bucket list. If you tell me where you're at now, I'll even give you a free shot.

[ Not really, but it's the only last-ditch effort he can think of to get Reaper to give him something. Not that Jesse is feeling too confident that it'll work, but... he can't just stop. ]

Not today. Maybe tomorrow. Stay home.

[There was no he was giving McCree a reason to follow him into the Dome.]

That better mean you're here tomorrow.

Don't pretend you would be upset if I wasn't.

I'm not. Don't act like you know what I'm thinking.

I don't have to. I can't recall the last time you had a real intelligent thought.

Deerington Inbox

Augh, fine, text then you stubborn old man

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