almightythirst | Deerington Inbox

[ It’s such a simple scene. Homey and unassuming... and perfect. Must say a lot about both of them, that it has them feeling so strongly just looking at it. He’s not a man made for peace and quiet, but he can’t deny the warmth that floods him as he looks at it. Then looks at her looking at it. The happiness evident on her face. ]

Wouldn’t be half bad, would it? Not that I’d set up shop anywhere where it snows this damn much.

[ While life hadn't handed either of them as easy path to peace, getting a taste of it felt both kind and cruel. If this time without Chloe's memories had done anything though, it had solidified a bond between the three of them that wasn't going to be easy to break. ]

Yeah, when we get back, I am never leavin' the desert.

[ She smiles peacefully at the photo, before setting it aside. This left just the future. ] One box left, hopefully it ain't a picture of a gravestone. [ She got up to get it. ]

Chloe let out a weak laugh, pulling back so she could wipe her face with the sleeve of her jacket. She couldn't not feel ridiculous for getting as upset as she was, some ingrained part of her always embarrassed by her emotions regardless of memory.

"Jeez, Pops, no need to escalate so drastically." It's said with an attempt at her own humor as she goes to grab the drink, taking a large gulp from it and thankful for the burn of both the tea and the alcohol to help ground herself again. "I'll finish this before I apologize for being a downer."

I’d be surprised if it were. Seems like it might be a pattern at this point, since we got photos last year too and they were all pretty cheery. Haven’t seen one yet this year that wasn’t the same.

[ He still worries, of course, that there will be something dark and dire in that box. You never can tell around here when you might get an unpleasant surprise. But realistically, he expects something inoffensive as he waits, legs crossed, an arm resting on the back of the couch behind where Ashe was sitting. ]

[ He is well aware of every movement of her body against his, which is a blessing and a curse as they set out. He can't risk doing anything flirty or handsy though with them going so fast over solid, unforgiving concrete. He's able to distract himself pondering the mystery gift at least until they arrive. ]

Don't tell me you got me paperwork. That'd just be cruel.

[ She'd heard about those photos, even if she hadn't been here for the last set. There is a hint of trepidation as she begins to open the box, but it's misplaced. The only feelings that run through her are of warmth and happiness. She feels a sense of satisfied exhaustion and the same kind of pride that follows hard work. It hits deep inside of her and she closes her eyes, because it's nearly too much. It bubbles over, and she has to bring a hand up to quickly wipe away a tear.

Unlike the last two memories, this one feels a bit more vague, but it comes into clearer focus. She could see herself, propped up in an unfamiliar bed. McCree is there but for a moment he's turned away from her. She just watches him, feeling a joy that was so pure that she wasn't sure she'd ever felt it. It was raw and innocent. When he turns around he has the tiniest human in his arms and she can see that he looks overjoyed himself.

"Hey there...I'm your daddy.."

He walks over to the bedside and takes a seat finally looking up at her, with the goofiest grin. "Hey Liz...we're a family..." The moment is intimate. A family. Not found. Not thrown together by circumstance and violence. Not that Deadlock wasn't family, but this was forged by blood and love and the thing she'd been starved of.

As the scene begins to fade from her mind she feels an ache of desire so deep it's painful and when she opens her eyes she looks down to see it's been at least documented in the picture in her hands. McCree sits on the edge of the bed holding the infant with it's impossibly small hand wrapped around his finger. She's looking at the two of them like she's never been more satisfied and maybe she hasn't. Ashe had a lot but satisfaction always seemed just out of reach. Was she searching for the wrong things? It's a lot to take in.

She also knows that baby. She's seen them before, held them before and wondered how she could love her own child so much, while her parents had so easily brushed her to the side.

She brings the photo against her chest as she comes back to reality and she looks at him. Her cheeks flush, because the picture is so intimate and in a way she's not used to sharing. Deep desires that Deerington seems to know, but that she hasn't acknowledged. But will McCree appreciate it, or does he have other goals that he wouldn't want to be tied down for. Besides, all of this is new. This picture is loaded, and she isn't sure what to say, because it's clear she's been shaken, though not in a negative way. ]

Future might be good... [ Is the lame response that finally leaves her. ]

[ Jesse sits up a little straighter, all his attention on her as she reacts to the photo. He can’t see it at all from this angle. He’d stand up and peek, but he’s too fixated on her face. Whatever she’s looking at, it’s transformed her expression. Clearly it’s hitting her hard. But not in a bad way, if he’s reading her right. ]

Might be? What is it?

[ Her mind feels busy with the questions surrounding the scene that keeps replaying in her head. Does Jesse want a family? Would he even want one with her? Could they fix their mistakes back home enough to even make a future like that possible? Deerington is responsible for the photo, but she feels almost like the girl asking her new boyfriend what his thoughts on family are far too early into dating. Starting a family is a big step and she can't help but wish she had a view into what had led them to that moment.

It was almost laughable how nervous she was considering all the wild things she openly did. For a woman who had conquered and built up a criminal enterprise to be embarrassed by having a baby, seemed silly. But it made her feel so raw to experience a desire she hadn't really given light to. She was cutthroat and dangerous, not maternal. Right? But there was Chloe and the other children and her business that had accidentally ended up doing more good than bad.

She knows she can't keep it from him, but she's embarrassed and it shows on her face as her cheeks turn a brighter shade of pink. She pulls it back and looks down at it again. He was happy in the photo, maybe he wouldn't turn away from what it suggested. Or at the very least, maybe he'd understand it was just Deerington. She could laugh it off if need be, but she found that she really didn't want to have to. Whatever this was, she wants to explore it with him. So she takes a leap of faith and hands it over to him, opening the door to a very private piece of herself. ]

Well, it's about the exact opposite of a gravestone.

[ And soon as she hands it over, she brings her nail between her teeth mindlessly biting down on it, as she looks away to try and rid herself of the blush and get control over her feelings. ]

[ Jesse has watched her stare down the barrel of several guns at once and still be less nervous than this. It’s hard not to get antsy himself the longer the moment drags out. What is it she’s so afraid to show him? When the picture is offered to him, it takes all his self-restraint not to snap it right out of her hand. If it’s something bad, maybe they can brainstorm a way to avoid it or at least mitigate the damage…

It’s so vastly different than what he’d assumed it to be that it doesn’t really even register at first. Ashe in bed, him and… a baby?

She’ll see the moment it clicks, the way his expression empties out with shock, his body totally still as the impact of the image hits him. This isn’t anything he’s ever considered for himself. Not even in his wildest dreams. This kind of family, this kind of peace, it wasn’t made for men like him. He’d ruled it out long ago.

Now that he’s looking right at it though, he has no idea how to feel. He swallows hard past a surge of emotion he can’t name, his thumb drifting down slowly along the edge of the photo. ]

… It’s ours?

[ He hadn’t predicted how small his own voice would sound, and how full of wonder. ]

[ She couldn't look away for too long, her eyes kept darting back to see what his expression looks like. He isn't running away and the way he speaks is calming to her nerves. It seems he is in as much awe as she is. She turns back to him after her asks and she draws her legs up under herself as she leans slightly over so she can see the picture again.

To his question she gives a small nod. ]

Yeah. I saw this little scene in my head. You were lookin' down at the baby and you introduced yourself as daddy. Then you looked up at me and told me we were a family.

[ It's an odd thought. It was an impossibility, it was just that the woman she was before Deerington had pushed even the thought of children aside, let alone with McCree. It's a lot to take in, but she can't say she hates the idea. On top of that the desire for that future still felt strong. ]

There's...there's something else. While you were ridin' with the undead, they had some kind of tent and inside it filled with smoke and made you see visions. I saw that kid before, You weren't there, but same kid. It was the middle of the night and I was just rockin' it.

Edited 2020-01-12 05:38 (UTC)

[ If someone has mastered controlled panic, it's Ashe. Waking up on board this ship is panic inducing enough, but she can't find Jesse, Chloe, or B.O.B. Thank goodness for the fluid, right? ]

Hey. Soon as you get this, get back to me. We gotta figure out what the hell is goin' on.

[ His presence is all too obvious to her too and Ashe wasn't one for wearing helmets; she'd once said they messed up her hair and she'd only been mildly joking. So she keeps him at the back of her mind as well until they arrive.

Digging into her pockets for the key to the building, she chuckles, as she lets them in. ]

That would be a Christmas present for me.

[ She leads them into a corridor and down a hallway. ] This isn't too far from the warehouses, so if you ever need me, I won't be too far.

[ He rings her back, the video quality severely degraded by the change in the Fluid tech, all black and white and grainy. But it's clearly him, albeit dressed in suspenders and a cap he wouldn't have otherwise ever worn.

Also, he looks confused. He tilts his head to the side, taking stock of her. ]

You think you might've rung up the wrong number there miss?

[ He looks good in suspenders, at least.

She pauses for a moment and swallows. There were others on the boat who seemed to be out of touch with reality. She'd never thought he would be one of them. A mixture of emotions moves over her face. ]

Jesse...This really isn't funny and it's no time for games.

[ The mildly curious look on his face drops, and the call is immediately switched over to a more secure mode of conversation. ]

How the hell d'you know that name?

[ She's American too, clearly. Chances are the gangs back home sent her in and not the London werewolf pack. Or hell, maybe she's working with someone else with a bone to pick with him. There're plenty after all. ]

[ She wasn't expecting that, but it only takes a moment for her to figure out that he's not so different from the Jesse she knows and clearly whatever name he's going by isn't Jesse.

It takes her a moment to figure out what angle she wants to play this from and she watches him in a calculating way that isn't unlike how she'd view a poker hand. But from one liar to another, she wonders if he can still read her. ]

Well, if you can't recall, I guess it ain't any of your business anymore.

[ He's pretty good at spotting others of his kind, and the way she's considering him makes him feel like he's looking at someone not unlike himself. Someone full of secrets and savvy with deception. He frowns at her through the feed. Is she saying they've met? He's sure he'd remember a face like this one. Even being a threat to him, she's stunning. ]

Wrong answer there doll. You know me, then it's very much my business. How about you save me the trouble of walkin' this ship lookin' for you and just tell me now?

[ Well now, this is a change. During their separation, she was always the one trying to get the information out of him. Much as she's come to love him these past few months, she's not above dragging enjoyment out of this.

Her eyes widen, going to the 'damsel in distress act'. ]

Oh no! What are you goin' to do if you find me?

[ Jesse lets out a huff and rolls his eyes. Couldn't say exactly why--maybe that way she'd just been looking at him--but he doesn't buy that for a second. ]

Well that depends. How much longer you gonna drag this out for?

[ He knew her better than he thought.

She gives a passive shrug. ]

I bet you like bein' the one whose in the know, must be real frustratin' to feel like someone has information you can't recall.

[ Deep down, Jese hasn’t really forgotten anything. But his memories are distant enough that they can do little more than inform his actions in a subconscious way. He couldn’t say why or how he knows how sharp she is. He just does.

He’d even like it, maybe, under different circumstances. ]

Sure as hell not a fan. Look— [ He fixes her with a hard glare. ] You want me dead? You’re not gettin’ the job done on this ship. Not without gettin’ yourself locked in a closet until we reach land, and then prison after that. So you really want to throw your life away for whoever set you up to this? Whatever they’re payin’ you worth that?

[ She listens to his little rant, before it settles in he thinks she's here to kill him. So she can guess he's not led a wholesome life in his mind either. She looks at him with a little confusion. She hadn't even threatened to kill him in months. She can suddenly see this could turn in some bad ways if she's not careful. ]

What? I don't want you dead and I wasn't put on this ship to kill you. So just take your finger off the trigger there cowboy.

[ She's going to have to give him something, because she can guess informing him they are lovers who go way back to childhood might not help whatever is happening with his brain. But knowing Jesse she has no doubt that he'd make her regret it. He's terrible when cornered. ]

You did work for my Daddy awhile back. The Ashe family, though I'm sure one job blends into another, right? [ She at least wanted to keep the upper hand by making sure he knew she had his number. ]

[ Jesse frowns, eyes narrowing with suspicion. Ashe family… Ashe… the harder he tries to recall the name, the weirder he feels. Like his thoughts are getting sort of scrambled. He makes a soft sound and closes his eyes, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. ]

Yeah, I… I might remember that.

[ He looks up with a little shake of his head. ]

Would’ve been… a while back. A long while. Is that right?

[ The way he struggles is the exact reason she hadn't wanted to force things with Chloe. She's doing him a kindness really, hoping that he can work something up in his head if she keeps the memory neutral and vague. ]

Yeah, long time ago. We were just kids back then.

Don't expect you to remember my name, but it's Elizabeth... Caledonia Ashe. Guess you ain't goin' by Jesse anymore.

[ That last admission is what makes him look back up at Ashe, though the contents of the photo never leave his mind. They probably never will, regardless of if they ever come to pass. ]

The same kid? At least the weirdness here is consistent.

[ The joke falls flat as his gaze is drawn back down again. It’s so unreal. He can’t stop looking for some small detail to be out of place, to mark it as obviously unreal. Clearly impossible. Yet there isn’t anything. ]

When you saw that kid before, did you… did you know you’d had it with me?

Deerington Inbox

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Video: Backdated to January 1st

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oh boy here we go

this will go so well...

SO WELL [ switched into private mode ]

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