almightythirst | Deerington Inbox

[ Her eyes follow him closely and she doesn't bother to wipe her eyes as another tear falls down her cheek. Over the years they've kept so much from each other and laying it all on the table is something new. It's painful, but it's comforting too, because he meets all her doubt with reassurances and words that she's been desperate to hear for so long.

On top of his own reassurances to her, she knows she has to find a way to meet him in kind. She has to be there for him too and work through the past and listen to what brought him to the man he is now. It won't be easy because she's stuck in a combative rut that isn't easily fixed, but she could try.

The sad look in his eyes and the hope in his words has her reaching out to take his hand. ] Jesse... Thanks.[ She swallowed and stepped in closer. ] I don't want to destroy what we're buildin' by fightin' your past. I know I gotta accept what happened, but I've been fightin' it so long it won't be easy. I still got anger, and I'd still want to throttle that man if I got a chance to, which I guess I won't, so it don't matter. [ She reached out for his other hand and looked up into his eyes. ] But I can forgive you for findin' happiness that didn't involve me, and I can try to listen and maybe if you give me some time, I won't feel so threatened by it and I'll be able to share your happy memories without it makin' me so angry and scared. If you think we got a future, maybe I can start walkin' forward instead of backward.

[ He’s always making her cry. Jesse brushes her tears away, the same as he always does, and wishes he knew how to be a man that didn’t bring tears to her eyes. He thinks—he hopes—he can learn. ]

That means a lot. I know it’s not easy.

[ His voice is tight, like the honesty of that statement is threatening to overcome it. It does mean a lot. It means the world to him that she’s willing to try. He squeezes her hands back, his smile hesitant and somehow fragile. It’s a far different expression than his usual, rock-solid grin. ]

I want us to have a future. Been so long since I thought about one at all… but now I can’t picture one without you in it.

[ His hands squeeze hers again as he hesitates to continue. All this talk about the future scares the hell out of him, even if he won’t say so. ]

I know I’ve not been somebody you could count on. I’m not good at this. But I’m willin’ to try, if you’ll be patient and give me a little time too.

[ Much as he hated making her cry, she was getting tired of doing it at all. Back home she was so much better about keeping every emotion buried, well other than anger. This place seemed to have opened some kind of flood gate on her emotions and she'd been challenged to feel them.

This was also a side to Jesse that was new to her. He could be so stoic and casual, even when he felt things deeply. She'd always felt he could hide the world behind that cowboy grin of his. But this is Jesse McCree at his most real.

She gives a nod and a hint of a smile, her eyes showing the hope she's already feeling when he mentions wanting a future. It makes the time he's been away feel more like an intermission in their lives than the permanent thing she'd always yelled about. ]

Lord knows I ain't the most patient of women, but I'm happy to give you what I got. We'll just work on it... or somethin'. I dunno, like adults, right? I had your back all those years ago, and I got it now. Maybe we don't gotta end every disagreement with gunfire. [ Her tone was easing into playfulness. ] And I think I like the way we make up now better too.

[ Leaning up she moved in to kiss him, wanting to solidify all her own words and his with a physical reassurance. ]

[ It feels too good to be true, the way this turned out. Part of him doesn’t doubt it’ll all go to hell somehow later, because that’s how it’s always ended up before. But again, there’s that hope. That mad hope that lead him to Deadlock, deep into Blackwatch, and now here into her arms. The one that sees the potential for disaster and finds it worth all the risk, for all that could go right.

He kisses her back, and the kiss is a promise that he won’t stop chasing that hope until she does. And maybe not even then. ]

Sure does beat a high noon standoff, [ he agrees when their lips part, though he doesn’t increase the distance between them by much at all. ]

Not that those weren’t always a good time.

[ Jesse finishes fixing the watch around his wrist before opening the card, his eyes scanning the message as his smile slowly widens. This whole morning has been more than he could have asked for. He feels full to bursting with it. The promise of a surprise is just the cherry on top. ]

Something too big for under the tree? Is it another horse?

[ Not a day is going to go by where he won't be wearing or using one of these gifts. The bracelet will become part of his daily staples, on par with his hat and serape.

And the painting... if Jesse has to step out for a quick smoke break after it gets unwrapped, you can bet he'll be out there for the exact amount of time it takes a man to pull himself back together. What a coincidence. ]

“If that makes you selfish, then that’s what I am too.”

Especially knowing what awaits Chloe when she returns home. It’s not just that though. He’s felt the same about Ashe. About Angela, when she was here. Hell, he’s felt it about Moira and Rei and… so many others. Hard not to want company in the midst of misery.

“Now you call yourself selfish or apologize for somethin’ you couldn’t control one more time, I’m gonna drink your drink for you. It’s not just a threat y’know, I’ll do it.”

[ She's sure Deerington will keep throwing challenges their way. Ashe is stubborn enough to manage the waves purely because she refuses to let this place destroy her.

She shakes her head, eyes half lidded when they break apart briefly as she mumbles. ] Sure when you're the one doin' the hog tyin', not so much when you get tided up. [ There's a smile on her lips as she closes he eyes and kisses him again. She savors it a moment, considering dragging him back to the sofa, or take him to bed, before she remembers that she's still got another gift. Pulling back, she seems free from the stress the previous picture caused. ]

I'm a little nervous now, but there's another box to open, right? What's your third picture of.

[ She just hoped it was nothing that suggested he'd be taken farther away from her back home. ]

[ He thinks about reminding her that it’s her turn to open a gift, but then he decides against it. After that last one and the conversation they just had… could be good for her to see the last one. ]

Suppose that’s true. You can get me back for that anytime you want to, by the way.

[ His quick smirk says he’s only partly joking, should she try to take him up on that. But not now. There are still pictures to see. He keeps one hand in hers as he steps back towards the couch. ]

Sit back down with me and I’ll show you.

[ She couldn't recall a better Christmas herself and her fingers played with the silver rose that was now on her neck. It felt even better than the ones they'd had as teenagers when feelings weren't being voiced. ]

That was...hilarious. Wish I'd gotten to see the look on your face. But no, it ain't another horse. Think bigger.

[ She stood up and went to go grab their coats., tossing him his. ]

We'll take my bike.

[ She was glad she could at the very least hide how he could so easily make he weak in the knees. She chewed lightly on her lip again considering hauling him off to bed, but there were the presents, so she met him with a wink. ]

Don't worry, I intend to. Won't be entirely fair though, I think you'd like it.

[ She squeezed his hand again as she took a seat and joined him on the couch, ready to see his third photo. He didn't seem hesitant or nervous about this one, so she could at least deduce that it wasn't something awful. Once comfortable she held out her hand. ]

I'm ready.

If you're sure. That offer won't expire so you get back to me the minute you feel any different.

Guess I should actually talk to the guy myself

[ Not something awful, no. Something a little embarrassing, maybe, because it takes a wish he hasn’t even readily admitted to himself and given it form. Jesse takes his wallet out of his pocket again once they’re settled, thumbing past the other two to get to the last. The one that shows, far as he can tell, a possible future.

The picture he hands to Ashe has only three people in it: him, Ashe, and Chloe. They’re in a place Ashe might recognize, a certain diner with its classic aesthetic and a few of the desert outside. They’re all smiling. Happy. Together in a way he knows, for now at least, is impossible. ]

[ She takes the picture from him, and immediately feels her heart pick up speed. It could be a trick or something, but that certainly is the three of them at the diner. She's been hoping that they'll be able to make it back with her, but seeing it brings a fresh wave of dangerous hope. ]

Well I'll be damned. We look really happy, and she's alive and safe.

[ It's definitely a future that she can get behind. ] You know I've told her that she's got the grit to take over my empire if she wanted to. I don't know if I want that for her, but I told her that.

Alive, safe, and right at home. Looks like she belongs right there, doesn’t it?

[ There with them, and not left to her fate in her own world. The one he’d give just about anything to save her from. ]

Not sure I’d want that for her either, but… I could see that. Could see her takin’ to it almost too well. If there was any way to make sure she could come back with us…

[ He’d do it. Even if they would all forget this place after, he’d still take her. They’d meet again, wouldn’t they? ]

[ It was a hard thing to think about all the possibilities of what could happen when they returned. There was some hope, and the photo helped to give her even more hope. Ashe knew Chloe would thrive, she had what it took, though she didn't think McCree would let it happen. ].

Yeah, she would fit right in.

[ She hands the photo back to McCree, giving it one last long look. ] We're goin' to find a way, come hell or high water. Maybe this is all pretend right now, but she's family and that part ain't pretend.

[ She looks over at the boxes. ] Two left, pick one for me?

[ She’s right. He wouldn’t let Chloe get tangled up in the criminal underground, not after almost losing her to her own world’s perils. But he’s also very aware that it’s not his choice to make. Ashe had made a similar one, years ago, and there’d been no choice but to walk away.

He doesn’t want to think of what would happen now, with them both faced with that choice again. ]

Yeah. She is family, blood be damned.

[ He puts the picture back amongst the rest, then stands to go grab one of the other gifts. He hopes, for Ashe’s sake, there’s nothing in either of them that will rattle her too much. ]

Go on now, don’t leave me in suspense.

[ She reaches out for the box, and licks her lips in thought before she opens it. She's filled instantly with a memory that had only happened a short couple weeks ago. Jesse was down at the barn, taking care of the horses and leading them out into the pasture for some fresh air. It had been far earlier in the morning than she had liked, but with a cup of coffee in her hands she was watching him while sitting on the fence. Chloe had been next to her, still waking up and her head was on her shoulder. The peace of that early morning had made her forget that they weren't actually a couple with their child, just living life on their farm.

She smiles when she opens her eyes ands looks down at the photo memory of it. She was pretty sure Chloe had been dozing at one point, but sleeping or not, she looked cozy with her eyes closed and her head on Ashe's shoulder. Ashe had a smile on a face as she watched Jesse. ]

This must be why you want that farm.

Laugh all you want, it wasn't a bad gift. She's my pride and joy now. Well, one of 'em.

[ He catches his coat and pulls it on with a grin that won't subside. It's not even the promise of a gift that has him in high spirits so much as everything that goes along with it. The suspense. The surprise. The fact that she put all this thought into something for him. ]

Can't think of a better way to start my mornin'.

[ She smirks as she heads outside and goes to climb into her bike. It wasn't quite as fun to ride in winter, but she refused to give it up. ]

Yeah, it burned me up real good to have that whole thing backfire on me. All I did was succeed in remindin' the people who liked you that you had birthday.

[ She chuckled and shook her head. ] And now look at me, figurin' out how to give you the best gift.

[ She certainly never did things small.]

thanks, daddy, i'll keep it in mind

lmk if he's as much of a prick to everyone or just kids who break and enter

Times, they are a’changin’.

[ And he couldn’t be happier about it. At least when it comes to this. He settles in behind her, arms wrapping securely around her waist. ]

You ever gonna let me drive this thing again?

[ It's a good change though, and she's satisfied with it. Especially when she feels his arms wrap around her middle and the warmth of him behind her. ]

Maybe if you're good, I'll let you drive it back.

[ He leans forward, lips brushing her ear as he replies in a low, teasing tone. ]

Then I'll be on my best behavior.

[ With his arms around her, she's pretty sure he can feel the shudder that moves through her. She revs the engine. ]

That's almost a shame, I love your bad side.

[ She kicks off and starts driving through the streets and out of the country to make her way towards town. They aren't as close as some houses could be, but that suits her fine for the most part. Besides, she can appreciate the ride with him, even with the cold wind.

Eventually they'll come to a stop at a warehouse, right near their place of business. ]

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