almightythirst | Deerington Inbox

[ Whenever he goes outside, he'll find a package on the doorstep. It's not wrapped up in any fancy way and it's tied with basic twine. There is an envelope on top of the box and small white card inside. The handwriting is probably familiar.

I know how much it killed you to lose our bet last night. Far be it from me to rub that in, but as a consolation I'm returning this little lady to you. It ain't a gift. It's in my own best interests to see that you are armed with the best. Besides, a man and his gun is a beautiful thing, and I am not one to break such an intimate bond. It was love at first sight if I recall. Anyway, use her wisely and try not to die next time. Who knew you'd be more of headache dead, than you are alive! Besides, I'm gonna be offended if someone other than me gets to it first next time. See you around. ~ E.

The box contains peacekeeper, completely cleaned and shiny. He can thank B.O.B. later for that. It also contains plenty of ammunition, likely more than he had been able to get his hands on before. He can thank her business for that. ]

Edited 2019-08-25 03:09 (UTC)

[ Jesse half expects the package to explode when he sees the handwriting on the card. He handles it carefully, setting it aside in favor of reading the attached note; though he only gets as far as little lady before he’s scrambling to undo the wrapping.

Peacekeeper. He turns it over in his hands, fingers tracing all the familiar contours. She’s shinier and better-looking than she’s been in a long while, and he knows just who to thank for that. B.O.B. was the only one who had ever made her look better than Jesse could. That omnic is maybe the only other sentient being who knows the inner workings of the gun just as well as Jesse does.

He keeps a hand on Peacekeeper as he finishes the note, and then reads it a second time through. Ashe can say what she wants to the contrary, but it is a gift. He’d do just fine at whatever she has planned with a standard weapon, and they both know it. She could’ve kept Peacekeeper as collateral, could’ve held it over him as incentive.

Rather than point any of that out, he shoots off a quick text, short and sweet. ]

Thank you.

[ It's well past midnight, and she can't sleep. There is too much on her mind. She'd just gotten Chloe to drift off to sleep, and they are both in Ashe's master bedroom. She sitting up against a bunch of pillows, and though he can't see it, his serape is covering her lap. Try as she might, she's feeling agitated and stressed at this point. So what will make her feel better? Agitating him will work, and it's easier than saying she wants his attention. ]

Hey McCree! You awake?

Wake up McCree!

I got somethin' to tell you! It's a joke! So you'd better wake up and listen!

What is the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom?

One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch!

[ She laughs, though glances over to Chloe to make sure she didn't wake her. But she'd given her offered her something to help her sleep, so she was out for the count. ]

That is hilarious! Right?

Oh! I got another one.

What is the difference between your penis and a bonus check?

Someone, is always willin' to blow your bonus!

McCreeeeeee, you'd better wake up because I have got plenty of these! And I could go all night!

[ Jesse hadn't been sleeping, so he's fortunate (?) enough to hear both jokes from start to finish--though he doesn't turn the feed on until after the last. The air is a little smoky from the cigarello he's just pulled from between his lips. From the looks of it, he's somewhere in the kitchen.]

Goddamn Ashe, your jokes have gotten worse since we were kids. That's an accomplishment.

[ He shakes his head, despite being clearly amused. ]

This what you do when you can't sleep these days? Bet B.O.B. loves that.

[ Oh there he is. And he's not even asleep! Looks like at least she'll have some kind of company in the early morning hours.]

Dirtiest joke competitions, right?

[ She waves off the idea of B.O.B. listening. ] Well, usually I just drink, but I feel the need to be less compromised. [ She glances over to Chloe. Look at her trying to be a responsible adult. A responsible adult, texting dirty jokes to her not-friend in the middle of the night. ]

Yeah right. B.O.B. goes into rest mode when I start. Eyeroll and everythin'!

[ Jesse has had plenty of insomnia since coming here, and having a friend recovering from a traumatic injury doesn’t help. He’d pretty much resigned himself to being up for the night. He’s even made himself coffee, rather than settle in with a glass of something stronger.

He also likes to think he knows enough about insomnia and trauma to know the real reason Ashe is calling. He doesn’t say it though as he pours himself some black coffee into a chipped mug. ]

Poor B.O.B. He’s just tryin’ to stay a gentleman.

[ Jesse, though, doesn’t have any qualms about not being one of those. His grin says as much. ]

So. This is a competition, huh?

[ He knew her too well, something that kept popping up recently.

But he'd be right, the the trauma of it, and the new stuff with Chloe was making falling asleep nearly impossible. ]

That's not going to help you sleep. [ She says in reference to the coffee, but scoffing. ]

But you give B.O.B. too much credit, and even without bein' human, he's always up for the competition. So we could make a competition out of it, yeah.

Yeah, that’d be the point.

[ He holds up the mug to her via the video feed in a sort of salute before drinking. Dark as tar and just as bitter, just the way he likes it. ]

Hell, why not? I remember a few good ones. What’s the difference between a tire, and 365 used condoms?

[ Another sip of coffee, his eyes sparkling with mirth as he finishes and gets to the punchline. ]

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

[ For a brief moment she wants to ask why he wants to stay awake, but she holds off for the moment.

Forever the child, she gives a snort of laughter at that one. ] Okay Okay, that's a good one.

[ She's quiet for a brief moment, tapping her cheek with her finger as she thinks. ] OH! Okay.

How is sex, like a game of bridge?

[ She smiles. ] If you've got a good hand, you don't need a partner.

[Reyes had lost people before, a lot of them. Casualties of war, accidents, suicide. It was part of being a soldier, part of serving and they couldn't save everyone. He'd lost good friends before, but in Overwatch, he managed to keep his very close friends alive. Near miss with McCree and losing that arm... scared the shit out of him.

So really, he was good at keeping his people alive. A point of pride. The Overwatch fell and everything went to shit, his people scattered, and Reyes had died. Reaper had been born, and he might have had attachment issues. By issues, he didn't form attachments. Not anymore.

Moira was his one and only real attachment he went anywhere with. She was his everything, his only friend, his only real ally, as close to family as he could manage these days. Moira put up with him. Moira was trying to help him.

Moira was now dead.]

The Dome got Moira.

[Cool. Calm. Frank.]

[Professional courtesy the first message. On its heels, Reaper began to unravel. Why was he talking to McCree? He needed someone to talk to. Or maybe just someone to throw text messages at.

Couldn't trust anyone else. Couldn't burden someone who might want to help.]

She was stupid for going in there. She's a scientist.

I guess she finally earned an experience she can't get anywhere else. My telling her wasn't good enough.

When she comes back, I hope she pukes her guts out for a whole week. I'm not holding her hair back either.

[A pause of about five minutes.]

That little shit was supposed to protect her! They were on the same team! She vouched for him, put him on the list!

I should have been there. She's safe with me.

She's the only one who I needed to protect. She's the only one who accepts me as I am. I failed her.

I'll kill him.

No. I'll make him suffer and then I'll kill him.

No. I'll kill everyone important to him so he knows what it's like to lose everything. And then kill him.

[A two minute pause in texts. He was probably stomping around, maybe breaking objects nearby. Cools his murderous head a bit.]

You know she's going to come back and be all "Oh Gabriel, this is first-hand experience. Just what I always wanted. Stop overreacting because I can take so many notes. I'm a more relevant researcher now." She's dedicated to her trade. Always the best at what she does.

What if she doesn't come back? What if she pulls the same bullshit you did? Deerington filled with yellow and purple balls of energy that either piss on you or suck your very existence out. She'd laugh from whatever Irish abyss she'd go to.

Deerington Inbox

Backdated to just after their poker game

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1/4 Video; un: calamity CW: gross adult humor

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4/5 I lied

5/5 There!

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Text; un: Reaper - Sept 6 1/?

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